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Saturday Night Live Transcripts


Season 34: Episode 16

08p: Alec Baldwin / Jonas Brothers

Vincent Price’s Valentine’s Day Special

Vincent Price…..Bill Hader
Richard Burton…..Alec Baldwin
Carol Channing…..Kristen Wiig
Liberace…..Fred Armisen
Elizabeth Taylor…..Casey Wilson

[ open on TV Land splash screen ]

Announcer: You’re watching TV Land, which means you’ve liked the same stuff for forty years.

Hey! Good for you! Up next: “Vincent Price’s Valentine’s Day Special”.

[ dissolve to Price black-and-white set ]

[ Price cackles with laughter as he appears from behind a revolving wall ]

Vincent Price: Valentine’s Day!

That special day when the pulse quickens —

[ the wall continues to revolve back into the opposite room ]

Vincent Price: Wait!!

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Wait!! Wait a minute!! Go back the other way!

[ the wall reverses its track and holds still in the appropriate spot ]

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